Hi Diddly Dee, an Actor's Life for Me
"Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness."
Cullen Hightower
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Little ray of sunshine
The madness has started before we've even got all of the teams out on the road. Tomorrow I drive all the way to Totnes (and back again) to replace the Cornwall team's car, which they pranged on the way to their first show. In a way you have to admire them - it must be hard being that bloody incompetent.
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2.12.05 20:40 |
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Recipe for boredom
Ingredients: 1 Nissan Micra with automatic transmission Method: Send the 3 actors to Devon in the Micra. On the drive to their first show, in the dark, across Dartmoor, they will drive into a pothole and buckle the front wheel, thus forcing them to change the wheel for a temporary spare, on which they cannot drive any faster than 50mph. As they are in Devon, there will be nowhere where they can purchase a replacement wheel before the middle of next week. As they can only drive at 50mph on the spare wheel they will be at least an hour late for most of their shows, causing anguish to everyone, not least the Company, who are losing clients hand over fist. At this point, add one company manager, who has been given a lovely big manual diesel Mazda for the duration of the tour. Advise said company manager that she must drive to Totnes in Devon, hand over the good car to the 3 actors and drive back to London in the Micra. At no more than 50mph. Simmer for 6 1/2 hours over various A-roads and motorways. |
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4.12.05 10:32 |
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Oh Joy!
The Cornwall team's exploits just get better... Yesterday one of the actors walked out after the first show. No notice given, just got into his car and disappeared. So guess what...? I'm off to Plymouth in about half an hour, where I shall meet up with 2 of the covers, who have driven down from London (I, at least, am currently in Somerset), and we shall do 2 shows today and one tomorrow. After that, who knows what is going to happen - apart from the fact that I'm not bloody staying in Cornwall for 3 weeks... |
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6.12.05 10:04 |
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Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!
*wipes eyes* Apparently my beloved Cornwall team phoned the office today and complained about the fact that they sometimes have to drive more than 4 hours a day and don't have time to stop and eat lunch. I'd like to point out that yesterday I did a 10 hour round trip to see them, eating a sandwich as I drove. Whingeing bastards. |
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13.12.05 20:38 |
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For Tristan...
...because he asked nicely - a picture of my desk
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16.12.05 10:54 |
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Happiness is...
The pantomime is over at last. Thanks for all sticking with my whinges - my blog might start getting a bit more interesting again now, although I'm not making any rash promises.... One final panto story has to be told, however. I did 2 shows yesterday which the Cornwall team (surprise, surprise) couldn't make. The second (and final) show was at a secure unit in Devon. When I say secure, I mean 20 foot fences all around it, all doors locked behind you, one member of staff to each inmate. Oh, and the residents are all under the age of 16. Suffice to say, we were more than a little apprehensive as to how we would be received. 13-16 year olds are not the most receptive audiences, generally, and these children have been there, done that, and most definitely got the t-shirts. We hid behind our set as they all came into the room, shouting loudly, showing off to anyone who would listen. A 16 year old boy poked his head around the curtain. "Can I have your wand?" he asked me. "No," I replied. "It's mine!" He ducked away again, looking, surprisingly, hurt. I relented. "All right, you can have it after the show if you want - you big fairy..." Talk about speaking before you think! Thankfully, he decided not to take issue with my gobbiness... As the show started, I looked at the 12 sullen teenage faces in front of me and had a moment of pure terror - they were going to hate it. 5 minutes later they were laughing and joking, getting involved and absolutely loving it. By the end of the show we had one boy up on stage with us, singing the christmas medley and doing the dance routines, happily letting us put different hats onto his head to make him into Santa Claus, Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better result. It's shows like that one that make all the crap worthwhile.
Oh, and the boy who wanted the wand? Yes, he came back to get it, and gave me a big hug as well. Here's lookin' at you kid - Happy Christmas. |
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22.12.05 10:05 |
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Help!
Anyone know the answer to the question 'What type of play ends in marriage?' It's time for the Save The Children Boxing Day Quiz and we're all stumped...
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27.12.05 18:22 |
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